Hello everyone! Just a small update, because I know I haven’t written in a long while..
I graduated last year- not the result I was truly hoping for- I was homeless twice, ill, lost, in a string of abusive relationships from start to finish, emotionally bruised and battered and thinner than I’ve ever been in my life… But.
I passed with honours and have crossed one of the final roads in my education. Not bad considering all that I went though- I survived and have lived to tell the tale, with quite the recovery gap in the middle.
After Uni, I felt as though I could never animate again. Never draw, never sew, never Create.
I am absolutely no expert at it as it is, but I really felt that it had been the final nail in the coffin. I haven’t drawn, sculpted, or even animated since graduating and finding a job, and have been frantic with worry as to the reason why. Everyone says that forcing yourself to perform throughout education kills stone dead any ambition or creativity that you had upon entering, and I thought I’d never get my ”mojo” back- to make matters worse (?) I got myself a job as a care assistant with the frail elderly- my first care job.
I loved the residents but have been devastated by all I have seen while working there, running about and wearing my fingers and spirit to the bone- I think everyone who has ever worked in care will know that it is a job that eats into your life, not to mention the intense bullying and bitching that apparently goes hand in hand with that line of work.
This week I have a much much needed holiday- I relaxed, I learned to crochet (an all-time ambition of mine) and I realised that it wasn’t that I was no longer creative- I was just so so tired. I handed in my notice at work and applied to work with a care agency, intending to leave care work as fast as possible, as soon as possible. (I don’t want to cry over the people I care for anymore- we lose them and there’s nothing I can do..)
I came up with more ideas, and continue to create more as much as i can.
I’m back into creativity, and hope to never leave again!