Today was a frantic day of commissioned dress making, cleaning and nervous tea drinking. Here are a couple of small images that have brought me joy- blessings and sleep well..
We’re usually only lit by candles.
Sugar skulls for the American Horror Story marathon we shared.
My minion overseeing the frames getting a coat of black. 🖤
May flights of angels wing you to your rest!
We’ve been in our current flat for around six months. It doesn’t seem long to say out loud, but this half year we’ve already seen a pandemic and had a vague offer to buy the place that now envelopes everything we own in the world. The other days we finally went for a walk in the area, the first time since moving in, something we mentioned that we were ashamed of numerous times while breathing in the fresh air and noting the apple trees. Not far away this treasure emerged through the trees cemented my happiness with our little apartment block in the woods. Not only is there a beach with the cleanest water warmed by the sun, there’s a graveyard and old church just a skip down the road. As far as apartments go, it’s very lovable and we’re cultivating so much happiness.
I was in sandals so couldn’t resist going in right away, and saw a huge drowned caterpillar near the edge- feeling a little sadness at his loss, I lifted him out and placed him on my knee in the sun to see if there was even a tiny sign of life. For a long while there was absolutely nothing and I was sure I’d been too late, but I remembered that they breathed through spiracles in their skin, so I blew on him for a good ten minutes.. My hysterical delight when he wiggled for the first time was accompanied by my shrieking ‘’HE’S ALIVE’’. A poor woman who’d followed us to the tiny clearing evacuated faster than I’ve ever seen.
While he was coming to, and drying off, I did a little research on him- known as ‘’The Ugly Duckling’’ of the European moth world, I was ecstatic to see that he’d become one of my favorite species. The Elephant Hawk moth.. I’ve only come across these a handful of times, once with a moth breeder in the south of England, and once more by chance in a cemetery in London. They’re stunning. They look seductively soft and maybe as though they’re hiding poison, but actually they’re perfectly harmless and imperative in pollinating the areas in which they thrive.
I hid him in some shrubbery where I knew he’d be safe, next to a cluster of rosebay willowherb, a species of plant I know these creatures are partial to. I told dear friends about the insect CPR, and they both joked that knowing me, it was a tiny form of necromancy. (They know me too well). I thought about him for the rest of the day.. I hope he becomes the most beautiful..
To avoid scaring any more innocent strangers I decided to wait until I knew the lake would be empty to try out my new swimsuit and face a small childhood fear I keep.
I have always been the tiniest bit terrified of black water, and water I can’t see the bottom of, but this time despite a slight nervousness, the water was beautifully cool on a day that had been sweltering. It was a tiny piece of heaven for any inner nymph. while the horror of what lurks in the empty darkness can sometimes be overwhelming, emptiness can be filled with so many other beautiful things.
Trying out my new swimsuit has been something I’ve waited for all summer long…the days just slip by and I always found myself retreating to bed rather than going anywhere after work. This small respite was the perfect chance and I happily took it. From a beloved site I’ve been haunting for a few months now, Killstar has some of the most beautiful gothic items I’ve ever seen, and I’m very picky. Because of this of course not everything they advertise is something that I’d purchase, but there have some treasures and something for every dark style you desire. I think I’m also wearing a sun hat by them, but of course the sun was gone when I waded into the blackness of the lake, so I needn’t have taken it with me.
I have quite a long back so as well as being beautiful, the the swimsuit was rather low cut! Not wanting to be put off, I made myself a cute little top from sheer tights. (Be thrifty!)
My colleague makes the most superb nerdy pins! If you love cult horror, chibi style monsters, felt decorations and hand crafted perfection as much as I do, find her here… I have five of her items so far 🖤
Home
It seemed only appropriate that I take her black and grey version of the ‘Gilly’, creature from the black lagoon pin with me- taking him back to his murky brackish water home, and the sweetest swimsuit accessory.
Although I wasn’t stolen away by horrifying creatures as my previous fears might have suggested, killstar at least made me feel as though I could have been..
I was warned when I went to University that it would rob me of my passion to draw and create anything at all- Oh how I laughed!
ME? Not want to DRAW? I had a lot that I needed to block out as a child and my sketchbooks were my haven, a place of safety and other worlds that I could escape to In my time of need- it was quiet and used little electricity so was a popular activity with a parent who worried about the bills.
I drew in class, hiding my paper underneath my books and drawing when I thought the teacher wasn’t paying attention. (I still did well at school, and funnily enough, got 100% in my art and graphic design classes).
University was an extremely difficult time for me- I was homeless twice, in a succession of abusive relationships that I couldn’t seem to escape from- there was no inspiration from anybody, and nowhere I could turn. In the end, I went to crafts to console myself, my adoration of Stop-motion coming from the solid and tactile creations that gave you something substantial I could lay hands on, rather than the ghostly thoughts and reflections in my sketchbooks. I was under the impression In my younger years that nothing I owned was MINE, it was all lent from my family or the home I lived in, and creating things made them truly mine- I had brought them into being, so surely they weren’t lent from anyone else.
Crafts have given me so much more to add to my repertoire, and I managed to learn things that I never thought I would (Crochet, Needle Felting, Amateur Taxidermy, Polymer jewellery, Dressmaking….) but If I am to become the Tattoo artist that I can see myself as, I need to wander back to the land of paper.
This by no means, means that I will neglect my crafts- My list of things to make grows ever longer- But I will need to draw again, for at least an hour every day, and then raise the length of time I use my pencils more and more, filling every bit of spare time.
I also hadn’t used my paintbrushes since I could remember, and they were sat in their little sleeve gathering dust. (No matter where I live, my house is always dusty!)
I found a piece of wood that I was saving to paint on somewhere on my bookshelf and decided that it was time to break the many months of inactivity and get the war pants out again!
I don’t know quite why I decided to paint a skull, maybe because I have a few scattered about the house, and I wanted mirrors of my passions strewed along the walls.
I always adored dark paintings, especially when in most rented places you are obliged to keep the walls a lighter shade (Dreaded MAGNOLIA!!) It gives any darker inclined person the chance to express themselves without going full black interior.
My mum tried to steal this guy as soon as I brought him home!
I wanted something slightly Memento Mori, a style I have always adored and intend to fill the rest of my house with over the course of this blog, it goes with my specific trains of thought..
Some people like to pint straight onto the canvas and skip the initial sketch underneath- but I find it much more comfortable to have the guidelines for shading and shape there, just in case.
I always add in the darkest areas and highlights first so that I can blend between them when the time comes.
Add more shading
add more highlights and slight colour undertones to be blended in, such as the yellowing of aged bones, and the blue of the lighting tones.
Adding more blues and yellows!
During these stages the painting process can get a little boring, and it seems as thought there is little change in your work- it is for these reasons that I like to take pictures as I go along- when you look back, you can really see the transformations from stage to stage- keep going, never give up on a painting entirely! Some of my best pieces were done when I was going to give up halfway through because I didn’t like what I had already done! Have faith!
At the last stage of the painting I was unsure as to whether or not to include the bottom jaw- A lit of skeletons lose them anyway, somewhere in the recesses of time, but looking at the drawing I had already done I didn’t want to miss a chance to have a silent scream on my walls!, adding the bottom jaw gave the painting a little more depth and perspective, something I obsess over- I hate my work or paintings looking flat, and shading is something I HAVE to work on! x
I opted for a dark brown background, with blue and yellow hues, echoing the skull itself, as I was warned that paintings look odd when there are blocks of just black that occur nowhere naturally in life- I’m not sure whether I’m entirely happy with his though- I may paint over this with blue/black colours to see what I think of that, but for now, this will do!
I made my first GIF of this painting (so awesome!), just to prove to myself that when you look back, you can see the work that goes into things- it makes my process of painting less about the final outcome, less rushed and more about the process and experience.
I’m ready to pop this one on the wall, and will paint more very soon- I want to do a squid or an octopus in a scientific style for our bathroom, I have the perfect paper for it!
Albrecht Durer, a recent artist find ❤
My other half does some stunning line illustrations and I asked him if he might do one for me so that I could display it proudly in our bathroom….Since I asked a year ago, perhaps I will do mine first and he can do one to match it?!
Autopsy-turvy 